The Story of an Accident Prone Child

In this post we're looking at stories, narratives, and where our opinions come from. I'd like to take a page out of my own past and see if I can construct something sensible. The first thing that immediately comes to mind when we start talking about where our opinions come from a little red light starts blinking in the back of my head and I think- PARENTS! UPBRINGING! And I think this is an important aspect to understand when looking at how we form our identities and shape our culture.

Last week, Robin shared his "first date" story and I have my own story that relates. This is a little different though because this is a story that is about me but has been told to me by my parents because I was too young to remember this. When I was just starting to walk I didn't really walk, I ran. So, here I am, this little toddler running like some kind of kamikaze all around the house. Well, as a toddler, my motor skills were not quite fully developed and apparently I fell down A LOT. All of this active clumsiness resulted once in not one, but two black eyes. One day, my dad, (who is a general contractor) had to run to the hardware store and had to bring me along. At the checkout, a concerned cashier took down my dad's information (this was when people still used checks I guess) and called the police. Later that day, a police officer came to our door to investigate. My dad was explaining himself to the officer when, at that moment, I come running out and in front of the officer I fall flat on my face. That was enough to convince that officer.

Now, fast forward a decade or so and drop me in gym class, or sports of any kind. I've been notorious for being clumsy in some of these situations. In fact, in high school gym class I kept a tally of how many times I got hit in the face in one semester (it was 20 by the way). I can't help but feel that there is a connection between the story I have always been told and my accident prone-ness later in life. My explanation for this is that we are taught to follow these narrative structures that are difficult to break out of. In my case, I was always told I was clumsy via the story of being a toddler with two black eyes, therefore I continued to follow that narrative because that is what has been expected of me. All that extra emphasis on helmets and pads as a child just equates to the message that "You are accident prone and you will get hurt." It's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, don't you think? If you're told that you are something I think you are much more likely to follow the pre-constructed path. I think these are the sort of structures that perpetuate cyclical behavior, such as the cycle of poverty or domestic abuse.

If you grow up constantly being told one thing, it will always be a part of you even if you break away from it later in life. (I do feel like I'm not as clumsy, but then again I haven't been playing any kind of sport lately). I think it works the same way with politics, your parents raise you one way and once you get to a certain point you either continue on the path (like my brother) or you veer off in your own direction (like I did). I think that narratives have been so ingrained in our telling of history that we train ourselves to follow along in this same path, which makes it more difficult to break the cycle. The larger question this raises is, is it the people influencing the history, or is it the history influencing the people?