If you've ever been inside an elevator, you have participated in this body practice. For those of you from Minnesota, even your reputation as a "friendly Minnesotan" hasn't prevented you from participating in this cultural norm.There is an unspoken rule about how you are supposed to act in an elevator. You get in, turn and face the door, press the button for your floor, and, above all, don't make eye contact with anyone else in the elevator. You focus your attention on the numbers above the door, get as much space as possible between you and the other people, and if there is any conversation whatsoever, it is limited to "Could you press 6?". You check your phone or watch as many times as possible. Even pretend to text if you have to.
Where does this body practice come from? No one has ever said that is how a person must act in the elevator, but everyone instinctively acts this way. No one is forced to do this, they choose to do it. Everyone is more than able to face away from the door and talk to everyone in the elevator, it's just that everyone knows that's just not what you do. If someone were to do those things, the other people in the elevator would think that person is weird or that there is something wrong with that person. Nobody likes the guy that insists on talking about the weather, so the best option is to stay silent and keep to yourself.
Maybe it's because elevators are associated with business. No one has the time to small talk in the elevator; they are focused on their destination and the work they must do once they get there. Perhaps this norm developed because people generally don't like to waste their time engaging in conversation with people they think they won't be seeing again. Or if you will be seeing them again, it is best not to do or say anything that might make them think poorly of you. You should just play it safe and keep your mouth shut.
If you feel like testing out the importance of elevator etiquette, try going into an elevator and face away from the door, stand a little too close to someone, talk to people, or just look at them. You will without a doubt get some very strange looks, or the people in the elevator may even go out of their way to talk to others about how strange you are once you get off.
This is so true! And I cannot help laughing out when I read the sentence "Even pretend to text if you have to". lol
ReplyDeleteThe thing is that it is really awkward for me to stare at or talk to someone who I am not familiar with. And I agree with your point that it is hard for people to have an even small talk in an elevator. It at most takes 3 minutes from the top floor to the ground and that is really nothing for a talk.
Maybe it is not some culture thing but conventionalized stuff. But it is still a good idea to keep silent there in an elevator.
I had the unfortunate job of working in an elevator at the Gopher football game. I'm generally not much of a small talker but after being confined to that 40 sq. ft. for a while with very few passengers I was going insane. Once things picked up I was excited to have human interaction again and took advantage of my brief encounters with people to make some small talk. I usually follow your unwritten rules on elevators but given my different set of circumstances it was interesting how I changed for that time.
ReplyDeleteThis is very true, and has always puzzled me. I was just thinking about this same sort of set of "rules" as I was riding the bus the other day. Here was this vehicle packed like sardines with people, yet when you look at everyone's facial expressions and body language its as if they are staring into space acting like they are completely alone. No one is really looking at anything, yet you know they can't ignore the fact that they are completely surrounded by other people. The strangeness of the whole situation actually caused me to chuckle out loud. Its kind of humorous to think about why people develop the cultural habits they do, and for what reasons we practice them.
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