Now I am personally pretty old fashion so I still think that men should hold the door open for women. Recently on campus I’ve noticed that guys on campus rarely hold the door open for girls. In the last week I have witnessed two guys hold a door open for all the girls walking into a building. I have also seen one gentleman take the door from a girl who got stuck holding the door open for others. But as I have started thinking about it, are these guys just being docile bodies because they know how many girls are old fashioned and love when a guy holds the door open for them? (Or is just me who loves that?) Also, these guys could just being doing what Foucault calls practice over belief. It is possible that these guys are just doing what their fathers and other men in lives have influenced them to do but they don’t actually believe in it. Now if you look at it from a women’s point of view, it could be said that there are women out there who don’t want guys opening doors for them. Some women may feel that men holding doors open for them takes away from their emotional economy. I however disagree. I don’t think a guy being a gentleman and holding the door open for me takes away from my emotional economy. It doesn’t take away from my power or my independence. I am fully aware that I can open that door myself and I don’t need a guy to do it but that doesn’t mean that every time a guy holds a door for me it doesn’t make me smile.
I personally like it when a guy holds the door for women also. It shows that they are polite, respectful and courteous. However, in todays society with extreme focus on equality, I can also see how a woman may take it as an insult. It is a cultural practice that originated in a time of inequality, where a woman was seen inferior and weak. This practice has definitely declined in popularity in our modern world. But if a guy wants to hold a door open for me, I would not be so much insulted as I would be flattered. So keep it up guys.
ReplyDeleteThis idea is an interesting one. I grew up in a family where my brothers were told to hold the door open girls, and to be chivalrous and polite (this also includes the rules such as paying for dates, providing transportation, etc.).
ReplyDeleteRecently I went to an etiquette dinner and an attendant asked whether it was appropriate at formal business dinners for males to help the females take their seat at a table, push in their chairs, and stand as the women arrive/depart from the table. The woman guiding the dinner said that in this time period, it is no longer necessary (or encouraged) for men to do such things -- women are trying to be seen as equals, and thus can push in their own chairs and open their own doors. Otherwise, some feel a sense of inferiority.
Personally, I love chivalry, but even someone who is just polite is appreciated. I've never felt inferior, or anything close to it, from a guy acting proper.
In my family, the boys not only practice but also believe they are to hold the doors for women, etc. To them, it's just part of being an able-bodied man. Many friends, however, rarely practice and essentially don't believe that men should hold the doors for women. I even hold the doors open for people, and I'm a girl! Even if you don't believe males should do it, we're all capable of it. Sometimes you can just be polite.
Interesting post, I've never taken much thought into why I hold the door open for girls. Personally I just believe it to be polite and I would hold the door for men and women alike. However I do sometimes believe that mean do it sometimes to draw attentions to themselves and to make them seem like a gentlemen, but I see that as a abuse of knowledge. On the other hand, some people don't even care about being polite as long as they aren't troubled. They don't even say thank you. But I guess that is a sub-culture to what they grew up with and are accustomed to. As for equality I feel that being polite has little to nothing to do with a sense of superiority, although I understand that from a women's point of view it may seem that way, most people are doing it out of respect and politeness.
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