Adoption

     I have 16 grandparents. Four times the average person. My family has separated and expanded in so many different directions that it would be impossible to sum up in one blog post. However, I would like to go in depth about one very important aspect of my family which played a significant role in shaping who I am today, that my brother and I are adopted.

     This interesting fact has dumbfounded many people. They simply do not believe me when I tell them, my friends just assume I am pulling their leg. I am caucasian, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and somewhat resemble my adoptive father. My brother, who is five years younger, was adopted from a different set of birthparents. He has brown hair, brown eyes, he is caucasian with a darker complexion, and closely resembles my adoptive mother. I think this disbelief stems from the social and racial class construct of adoption. White, healthy children aren't adopted, and middle class American's are not the most common to adopt. In our culture it is 'normal' for older upper class, white Americans to adopt children from third world countries, that are usually not of their same race. This is not my case at all, and makes my story unbelievable to many at first. 

     My mother was unable to have children of her own, so my parents decided to begin the process of adoption. My birthmother became pregnant while in college, and decided it would be best for the both of us to put me up for adoption. When I was five years old, at the time of my brother's adoption, we were given permission to make my adoption open. My open adoption has been nothing but a wonderful experience. My birth family and my adoptive family put in a lot of effort to get together at least once a year. I know my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and half-sisters on my birthmothers side. I was in my birthmother's wedding, they have visited me at our lake home, and I recently flew to Arizona to stay with my birthmother and half sisters for a week. We have a wonderful connection, and I have never experienced any of the negative affects that are speculated to occur in adopted children. 

     I was unaware of this until recent research, but there are many stereotypes of adopted children. They are supposedly criminally predisposed, develop behavioral problems, experience emotional disturbance, and have psychiatric difficulties. I have not come across any data that represents or proves these ideas, and they have certainly not affected me. However, the decision that my birthmother made definitely changed my life, and shaped me into the person I have become today.